好笑的事情1：    刚把昨天写的烂东西看了一下，真恶心，把自己当成哲学家了，没脸照镜子了，一照镜子发现我长的真难看，有点儿像强奸犯。

好笑的事情2：   今天见了两个大概年约6，7旬的姑娘，因为麻将经济纠纷，再次板砖相向，N年前见过一次，还是她俩，年轻人火气大。

好笑的事情3：   承受了一年之后，还看不到希望，心理快崩溃了，才知道自己真懦弱。克服了很多困难，却被自己最挂念的人牵制住了，

     今天偶然听到了Elloitt Smith的《Between the bar》, 低沉略带忧伤的嗓音，一把木吉他伴奏出简单的旋律，很有感染人，听着这首歌，遐想到一个人孤独的坐在酒吧里，举起酒杯，微笑着对自己说：“Drink up, baby!（干杯，宝贝!）”然后一饮而下，无比的忧郁，却又不失优雅和高尚，老式的钟表已经走到11：55分，他走过去索性将分针拨到12点的位置，这让一切事情的尽头到来的如此狼狈，因为他毫不在意。橘红色的灯光伴着温柔的曲子带他进入梦乡，孤独变得唯美了……

    活在遐想中是件幸福得事情，即便遐想中得世界也一样不完美，却是令人回味不已的。深夜2点，  写着这篇文章，伴随着Between the bar，似乎可以忘记所有俗物的纠纷与不满，回归原始的纯净。http://www.badjohnny.net

    上网搜集了一些关于Elloitt Smith的资料，转自 http://et.21cn.com/topic/music/elliott/

AMG上对Elliott Smith的介绍是这样的：

    民谣歌手，作曲家Elliott Smith 1997年由于电影《Good Will Hunting》中的一曲Miss Misery的成功，从无名的独立音乐人成功的进入了主流音乐圈。他出生于美国波特兰，14岁开始写歌并录制样带。随后，Smith组成了乐队Heatmiser，在1993年发行了第一张LP《Dead Air》，一年后，他在一个小厂牌下，发行了个人首张专辑《Roman Candle》。1995年，他签约于Kill Rockstar公司，发行了同名专辑《Elliott Smith》，之后1997年又发行了《Either/Or》。几乎同时，电影导演，同时也是Smith的超级歌迷Gus Van Sant征求在电影《Good Will Hunting》中使用Smith的音乐，并同时邀请他为电影写一些新歌。其中Miss Misery令人惊讶的获得了奥斯卡最佳原创歌曲的提名，虽然最后并未获奖，Smith还是出席了典礼并且和超级明星Trisha Yearwood，以及最佳原创歌曲获奖者Celine Dion同台演出。随后Smith改签了Dreamworks公司，1998年推出了他最成功的专辑《XO》。2年后，又发行了《Figure 8》，这张专辑制作精良，编曲加入华丽丰富的管弦乐，与他前几次的solo专辑相比，风格一下子转变了不少。接下来的2年，Smith一直在努力的策划他的下一张新专辑，《From a Basement on a Hill》。但是，他并没有能够完成这张作品，让他所有的朋友和歌迷震惊的是，Elliott Smith在2003年10月21日结束了自己的生命。

    然而这些平淡的文字是无法勾勒出他复杂辗转且绝望的一生的，其实，我们也不必去了解，因为他和我们素不相干，他于我们的距离就如他在奥斯卡舞台上与那些大明星们的距离一样，那是一种假相。不要说你多么受他感动，不要为了他的音乐心颤，当时间只是燃一根烟的功夫，生命在眨眼间就能逝去，我不知道在一片虚无中还能抓住什么。

　Smith留下的遗书中说“上帝，请原谅我。”但我想上帝不会原谅他，因为他把绝望遗留给了活着的人

     这个秋天，34岁的民谣歌手Elliott Smith死在寓所里，身上插着一把刀，初步判断为自杀。有人曾将他和上世纪60年代迷幻民谣歌手Nick Drake并列，后者在不到30岁的时候杀掉了自己。他们都长着和Jim Morrison一样刚及肩胛的卷发，Smith黑色，Drake栗色——但这两人的音乐中却找不出一条如Morrison用旋律的油脂包裹着的痉挛筋骨，他们的歌唱像少年的掌纹，朴素、内向、诡异，几乎令人恐惧起来，其中隐藏着的悲伤和愉悦，都是些宿命的秘密。他们的音乐和表达都很含蓄，几乎是懒散的，像在漆黑海底自身会闪烁微光的水母，幽灵般炫耀着似有似无的存在。

    奇怪，28岁时在深夜的浴缸里猝死的Morrison几乎是斯文的，但他却自诩为驾御暴风雨的人，在台上尖嚎着脱掉了皮裤；Smith和Drake在抱着箱琴轻轻吟唱时看起来也很安详，但他们的死亡却被铁器、枪火和变成泉眼的动脉味道紧紧扭住。

　这两个人都是酒徒，且皆有很重的毒瘾，于是，他们的死亡原因就算被专业人员确凿地证实出来，却依旧不得不是暧昧的——活人们会不厌其烦地从他们一般含混、飘漾的歌词中榨尽颓丧的诗意，这诗意忽地就浓郁起来，不过是因为青年时的死亡。

民谣和传统意义上的摇滚乐相比更具诗性，它不是倾诉狂，当然反叛，却匿于低调的姿态之下。民谣从心灵的深处陈述和内省，虽然有时会像偶蹄动物的反刍般絮叨，散出被消化道挤迫出的草腥气。民谣比摇滚更需要自恋，比爵士更需要自怜——Smith和Drake沮丧地陶醉在自己严肃、英俊的镜像里，他们弄死自己的原因大概和能诚实地演唱民谣的原因是一样的罢。

　　这样的论断真让人乏味。向一只鬼魂追问活着时的往事可能更容易些——和为一个少年判断将来的情事相比。死亡，一边让活人变得很激动，一边让死者变得很随便。活人为死者流下泪水或呸去唾沫，而死者真的很随便，表情僵硬，那些曾可喷淌的体液，静止后渐渐干涸。至少，一名歌手的自杀并不能说明他活时的演唱如何绝望，类似于一个少年的自杀并不能抹去他若可能活到变成一个惶惶的中年人，当他在阳光下摊开手心时，如他神经般错乱的，少年的掌纹。

关于《between the bar》这首歌可以在右边下角的播放器试听，最后一首就是。也可以在这里歌曲下载。下载方法：点右键，选择下载工具，或者选择目标另存为。

Between The Bars歌词

The potential you’ll be
You’ll never see
Promises you’ll only make
Drink up with me now
And forget all about
Pressure of days
Do what I say
And I’ll make you okay
And drive them away
Images stuck in your head

People you’ve been before
That you don’t want around anymore
That push and shove and won’t bend to your will
I’ll keep them still

Drink up, baby
Look at the stars.
And I’ll kiss you again
Between the bars
Where I’m seeing you there
With your hands in the air
Waiting to finally be caught

Drink up one more time
And I’ll make you mine
And keep you apart
Deep in my heart
Separate from the rest
Where I like you the best
Keep the things you forgot

The people you’ve been before
That you don’t want around anymore
That push and shove and won’t bend to your will
I’ll keep them still

Between The Bars吉他谱

To Boddah pronounced

　　Speaking from the tongue of an experienced simpleton who obviously would rather be an emasculated, infantile camplainee.

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      This note should be pretty easy to understand. All the warnings from the punk rock 101 courses over the years. Since my first introduction to the, shall we say, ethics involved with independence and the embracement of your community has proven to be very true. I haven’t felt the exitement of listening to as well as creating music along with reading and writing for too many years now. I feel guilty beyond words about these things. For example when we’re backstage and the lights go out and the manic roar of the crowd begins it doesn’t affect the way in which it did for Freddy Mercury who seemed to love and relish in the love and adoration from the crowd. Which is something I totally admire and envy. The fact is I can’t fool you. Any one of you. It simply isn’t fair to you or me. The worst crime I can think of would be to rip people off by faking it and pretending as if I’m having 100 % fun. Sometimes I feel as if I should have a punch in time clock before I walk out on stage. I’ve tried everything within my power to appreciate it, and I do. God, believe me I do but it’s not enough.

　　I appreciate the fact that I and we have affected and entertained a lot of people. I must be one of one of those narcissists who only appreciate things when they’re gone. I’m too sensitive. I need to be slightly numb in order to regain the enthusiasm I once had as a child. On our last three tours I’ve had a much better appreciation for all the people I’ve known personally and as fans of our music, but I still can’t get over the frustration, the guilt and empathy I have for everyone. There’s good in all of us and I think I simply love people too much. So much that it makes me feel too fucking sad. The sad little, sensitive, unappreciative, pisces Jesus man! Why don’t you just enjoy it? I don’t know. I have a goddess of a wife who sweats ambition and empathy and a daughter who reminds me too much of what I used to be.

　　Full of love and joy kissing every person she meets because everyone is good and will do her no harm. And that terrifies me to the point to where I can barely function. I can’t stand the thought of Frances becoming the miserable self-destructive, death rocker that I’ve become. I have it good, very good, and I’m grateful, but since the age of seven I’ve become hateful towards all humans in general. Only because it seems so easy for people to get along, and have empathy. Empathy! Only because I love and feel for people too much I guess. Thank you all from the pit of my burning nauseous stomach for your letters and concern during the past years. I’m too much of an erratic, moody baby! I don’t have the passion anymore and so remember, its better to burn out than to fade away. peace, love, empathy.

　　Kurt Cobain

　　Frances and Courtney, I’ll be at your alter.

　　Please keep going Courtney

　　For Frances

　　For her life which will be so much happier without me. I Love you. I love you!